Defence is overrated!

There was a time in my life, more recent than I’d like to admit, when I was constantly in defence mode.

I was protecting myself from failure, judgment, shock, and embarrassment… it got to a point where I stayed “safe” in situations that didn’t challenge me because, deep down, I wasn’t in the headspace where I felt I could measure up. Feeling like a shell of myself, it was easy to catastrophize every possible scenario I could come up with. That defense mode, in a way, felt responsible. Sensible. Like I was playing it smart. But the truth is, I wasn’t playing smart. I was playing small. Living life in defense was a trap. Looking back, it was really surviving, not truly thriving. I needed to get some offense back in my life.

I remember my father-in-law Alfie said something to one of his kids (not allowed to name names) when they said something that everyone else thought was just dumb:

“Give your head a shake.”

Simple, effective, and to the point. When you’re acting dumb… just give your head a shake, stop being a moron, reset, and get back to reality. Alfie’s ancient philosophical proverb is pretty much the advice I took, and I’m all the better for it.

Here’s the hard truth: defense blows. It’s hard to be remarkable while you’re busy defending yourself all the time.

It doesn’t mean you don’t feel uncertainty; more so, it means you march on despite it. It means showing up when your heart races and your mind screams to turn back. It means risking failure, rejection, and embarrassment because what you want is worth it. Why settle just because? F@#k it, go hard and get yours.

Most of my life, it’s fair to say I lived with this “offence” mindset. But when hit with doubt, anxiety, and a wave of uncertainty, it was almost like it was twice as hard to get out of that rough patch. When I stopped playing defence, gave my head a shake, everything changed. I started saying yes to opportunities that shook me. I embraced failure as a lesson, not a verdict. And with every step, I grew stronger, bolder, and more capable of taking on whatever came.

Everyone has that fire that burns deep inside of them. Sometimes it’s a flicker, and sometimes it rages. What I’ve learned, for what it’s worth: always—100% of the time, walk towards the fire. That inner light is our essence… our purpose… our offense. Playing defense only dims that light and takes us that much further from our calling. Pouring gas on that flame is reinvigorating, satisfying, and, most importantly, brings true happiness. Win, lose, or draw… the goal is happy.

Step into the ring. Build. Risk. Fail. And rise.

Robin Nasserdeen